A Woman and a Woman: Friends-can-be?

It is quite a common question if men and women can be friends. I am not going to comment on this; as I have been unlucky to end up falling in love with my best male friends and having them all gone, I am more eager to contemplate on friendship between two women. There are quite contradictory points of view on this matter, and though these are mostly men who say such friendship is impossible, most women agree it is harder for females to keep friendly relations up.

You may have great times together when everything is fine – go out for a glass of wine after work, discuss all the latest fashion trends, go shopping or simply gossip, encourage and support each other through tough time, share advice and life experience and just feel comfortable together, but in case you have to compete for something, all this friendliness and sincerity are instantly gone. Women are not generally ready to give something up for the sake of friendship, especially if it comes to dating a distinguished man or being promoted at work. So if you and your female friend have occasionally fallen in love with the same man or aim to get the same prestigious job, you have to give up the competition or compete fairly, otherwise you may end up being foes for the rest of your lives. However, not all women (this very well relates to men just as well) are able to play the game by the rules, abiding first of all to their moral values and being ready to compromise, so their selfishness results in having a friendship ruined.

It is also the reason why women hardly ever make friends at work, seeing their colleagues as rivals. Moreover, having worked among women for more than two years, I can assure you that my colleagues’ favorite hobby is gossiping, so I discover some new fantastic things about myself that I could never even imagine every once in a while and I can only guess what interesting facts from my biography my boss will discover as soon as the girl sitting next to me in the office aims to get promoted to the same position as me.

I have to say, it has always been easier for me to work with men and have them as my business partners as well as communicate with them, share opinions and views and have an interesting discussion, but when it comes to letting someone get closer to me, I am reluctant to do that no matter if it is a woman or a man. So I am getting to the point that gender does not really matter, all that matters is to make good friends with a person you have really much in common and are ready to share everything with, it only may be harder for women to keep such a relation up in certain circumstances due to some psychological features characteristic of them. My good friend is a female just like me, and I know we will be friends for a lifetime, as we have exactly the same attitude to live and plans for the future – we both are child-free, reluctant to get married, eager to be self-employed with some kind of a very profitable business… it is quite likely we will start a business together and succeed.

So value and appreciate your friends, no matter who you are and who they are, keep stable and healthy relations up and remember that a true friend will always remain by your side as you change your partners and jobs. They say there is one love of a life, I believe there is one friend of a life. A male or female one – it is up to destiny to decide.

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